Catya Belfer-Shevett

I like the word "Queer". I like it because it is inclusive of people who are not "straight" on many spectra, including the typical heterosexuality - homosexuality, but also monogamy - polyamory, gender-queer and trans folks, and others.

Polyamory

Polyamory is about being intimately involved with more than one person, openly and honestly. I've been poly since i've been in relationships, which was before the word was coined. My polyamory website, including great articles, essays, news clips and links, lives at Polycat.org.

My personal Q&A about being poly are here, along with the Introduction to Polyamory I wrote for poly people to hand to their friends and families.

Bisexuality

"Bisexual" is a tricky word. It's the one I used when I first discovered it and came out in my teens, but it implies that there are only two genders. I seem to be lacking a better word, though. ("Queer" is great, but broad.)

To me, being bisexual means that my attraction and romantic attachment to people aren't restricted by their sex. I certainly relate to men and women differently, but that has little if anything to do with how they are physically shaped.

Bisexuality isn't something I'm particularly eloquent about. It's not something that I decided I ought to be, not a choice I made, but something that I observed about myself and the way I react and relate to people.

I was never really in the closet. Like many folks my age, I grew up heterosexist/homophobic, so my first attractions and encounters were quite an emotional rollercoaster. I sorted it out for a couple of years, then "came out" to my family, friends and classmates when I was 16. I've been quite public about it ever since.

These days there a a bzillion web resources for bisexuality, and I couldn't begin to catalog them in a useful way. That said, here are a handful:

• ~ Everything on the net has a FAQ, or "Frequently Asked Questions" list, and bisexuality is no exception. Here is the Soc.Bi newsgroup homepage, with everything you wanted to know about bisexuality but were afraid to ask.
• ~ BI.org, "Serving the world bisexual community"
• ~ The Boston Bisexual Resource Center, or BRC, and their calendar of events. Also, Biversity!